Textual content © Richard
Gary / Indie Horror Movies, 2022
Pictures from the Web
Slice!
Directed by James Balsamo
Acid Tub Productions; Apokalupto Enterprises
73 minutes, 2022
www.jamesbalsamo.com
Usually talking,
apart from Putt-Putt, I discover golf and golf-related movies exceptionally boring,
be it The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000), Pleased Gilmore (1996) or
cult comedy Caddyshack (1980). Nonetheless, it is a James Balsamo launch,
so my curiosity is piqued.
Sorry to present this
away, however you gotta love a movie that begins within the brief, pre-credit-prologue
with the killing of Robby Krieger of the Doorways on the Tender Holes Golf
Course (get it?)…with a door. His appearing is horrendous, however who the hell cares!
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| James Balsamo, Robby Krieger, John Hitt |
This helps introduce
our essential villain, Iver Rose, aka the Bogeyman (get it?) who has a human physique,
however whose cigar chompin’ cranium head is large and spherical, and has the golf ball dimples
on the highest of its head, which was designed by Tom Martino. In some way, it reminds
me of the killer in Killer Waves. He’s silent and is completely satisfied to make divots
of golfers at any time when (simply because I’m not a fan of the game, doesn’t imply I
have no idea the lingo; I’ve a number of household that stay or lived at golf
resorts in Boca Raton, not at Mar-A-Crapo). He kills largely with a golf membership
with an ax deal with on the finish (good contact). Whereas the Bogeyman shouldn’t be performed by
Balsamo (completely different physique form), however he’s actually voiced by him.
Proper off the ball –
er – iron, we’re launched to the mayor of the city, Eric Roberts, who has
been in a couple of of Balsamo’s later movies, largely sitting, as regular. The mayor is
as slimy as they arrive as he refuses to acknowledge the deaths on the golf
course to maintain it open for a money-soaked Event (shades of the mayor in Jaws).
There are tons of
cameos, as in all Balsamo’s efforts, resembling (however hardly solely) Rikki Rockett
(drummer of Poison), PJ Soles (the Riff Randall), Mark Scheffler
(Final Home on the Left), and director Brian Yuzna (Bride of
Re-Animator and Faust). A grievance I’ve had, however had not point out
in earlier opinions, is that lots of the cameos went over my head; even when I
knew who they have been, I could not have acknowledged them (resembling CJ Graham, who was
Jason in Friday the thirteenth Half 6: Jason Lives, or John Kassir, who was
the voice of the Cryptkeeper on “Tales from the Crypt”). However right here, in lots of
circumstances the Bogeyman mentions each the names and affiliations of the friends, for
which I’m very grateful.
My one true difficulty with
the movie is that there’s clearly no redubs of the voices, so there’s a lot
of echoes and mumbling, typically making it onerous to know what purposefully
ridiculousness they’re saying (which is why I watched this with the subtitles
on).
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| The Bogeyman |
A lot of blood splatter
and gore, which has steadily been higher wanting as Balsamo’s movie go on. That
is to not say a few of it’s pure cheese, however on the whole, the splatter provides the
movie its middle, and there is a gigantic physique rely, some off digicam (i.e.,
the celeb cameos, one clearly taken at a horror conference desk). Who might
ask for something extra?
That is fully
pun-filled, as is the wont of Balsamo, together with a brief however hilarious bit
regarding the sheriff (Casey Orr, aka Beefcake the Mighty), who has a southern
drawl regardless of the movie going down in California, and his two violent
deputies, the punny Officer Downs (Danielle Stampe) and Sy Borgg (Hunter
Jackson) (get them?). One of many Sheriff’s targets is the primary hero of the
story, Chase (co-writer John Hitt). He’s simply one of many many characters who
present up once in a while, resembling Rodney Callaway (Balsamo, who additionally performs Alabaster
Dick, a closely made-up sports activities announcer).
Talking of which, in
a lot of his movies, there’s oral narration by Balsamo to present us some
exposition and occasional puns. Effectively, whereas he voices the Bogeyman that form of
does the identical factor, right here there’s a collection of set items, launched by title
playing cards, resembling “The Mayor’s Workplace,” or “Professional golfers daughters [sic] slumber
occasion.”
Talking of the daughters,
there’s lots of gratuitous full-frontal nudity with pillow fights, showers,
and dancing by (I’m assuming) three strippers, mixed with the amusingly
gratuitous poster on the wall of Balsamo’s movie, Alien Hazard! With Ravenvan Slender. Heck, why not each?
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| My thought of a Brooklyn slice… |
The ending is bat-shit
loopy what-the-hell. Whereas I can’t give it away, there’s numerous stop-motion
creatures, puppets, full-sized rubber fits, and even a cameo by the bat from Chew College.
Movies like this defy
conference and are in an entire subgenre of their very own, resembling these by Balsamo
or Invoice Zebub. Their work can’t be categorized, have a lean in direction of sexism in
the type of stated gratuitous nudity, and are so off the wall in bizarre
productions, gaffs, and simply plain nonsense, that the top product is all of the
higher for it. I usually admire that. Additionally they nearly all the time have the
director in some position, usually because the lead, which is simply effective and dandy. Movies
like this are non-pretentious, and clearly are self-promotional in a approach that
is pleasing. They have an inclination to push the envelope, and whereas each these administrators
have a special motivation, they’ve an analogous type that one might name
amateurish, however I name simply non-clean enjoyable.
And, it appears to be like like
there could also be a sequel. Yay.
IMDB Itemizing HERE
